Other people collect quotes too: like Laurel, Faisal, Pixel, and Moose.

hkeith - "Hey, I'm just trying to fit in with modern culture."
jappel - "That's not possible. Modern culture is a petri dish. You and I have jumped out."
--Me and Joy Appel

"You know that fine line between insanity and genius? You're not supposed to use it as a jumprope!"
--Jarrett Carberry

"I'm sorry, CrackMonkeyFromSpace is taken, would you like CrackMonkeyFromSpace2974?"
--Jay Carlson, on finding a decent AIM screen name

"Gossip travels faster than reality from the perspective of the person it's happening to? I smell a thesis."
--Ben Cordes

This code is crap. Utter crap. Utter, pure, unadulterated CRAP. Not ONLY [could this guy not] code his way out of 211, but he couldn't DESIGN an ALGORITHM that'd pass muster in 212, or a bleedin' FILE FORMAT that wouldn't get him laughed out of a PRESCHOOL.
...
i'm up at 3:40 in the morning because i can't get back to sleep after waking up from a dream in which i was recompiling my kitten with #define DISABLE_SHARP_CLAWS and #define NO_TRACK_CAT_LITTER.
--Rob Earhart

"My room is warded so strongly a Macintosh would explode crossing the threshold."
--Lissa Ernst
...
"Cloud...cloud...cloud....Africa???!?"
--Lissa Ernst, on skydiving on overcast days

"My mind is like a mirror. It would hardly be so very sharp were it not so very broken..."
-- Evan Gibson

"I think we were distracted when God was handing out patience."
. . .
"Tact is the towel you wrap around the baseball bat before you whack someone with it."
...
"Two words - plausible f*cking deniability!"
--Tom Hendrick

"In order to have a trampoline-infested orgy, you must wear funny costumes and speak in Elizabethan English."
-- Tara Jennings

"Oh thanks, now my most treasured childhood memory is walking around saying 'meow, meow, horse cock!'"
-- Me

"Eleventeen! The square root of pi! UNCLEAN NUMBERS!!! UNCLEAN NUMBERS!!!"
--Chris Lee

"I'm not going to die; I'm going to disappear in a blinding flash of sugar and caffeine!"
--Jason Riek

"I believe that Perl builds strong bones and moral fiber."
--Christina Schulman

"well, it's getting pretty bad out here. Brownouts are the rule when the power is on, and it isn't very often, maybe four hours a day. The price of gas is up to $7/gal because the dot-bombs with remaining VC are using it to power gas generators for amps for their parties. Meanwhile, engineers are burning to a crisp as their companies fold and they're forced out into the sunlight for the first time in years. Rent is down, though, and there are vacancies everywhere for just $2000/mo for 1BRs.
uh, I mean, fine."
--Tim Showalter, upon being asked how life was in Silicon Valley, 5/01

"Look in that mirror over there. LOOK AT IT. It's only showing one reflection, isn't it? Just one. One of you, one of them, one of those...Now look around: one of you, one of them, one of those... COINCIDENCE? I think not. Carry a hammer."
--Silverblue

"Ferrets are more easily distracted than a toddler on a double expresso."
--Sluggy Freelance

"Personally, I revel in the thought I keep in my head when at the bank dealing with an obnoxious teller: 'In my religion you are food.'"
...
"There are times I really think I could be a religious leader. But then I look up messianic complex in the dictionary, and go back to hanging out at strip clubs."
--Andrei Tapolow

"The 3 great virtues of a programmer: Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris."
--Larry Wall