(credit to marc gabriele: www.livejournal.com/users/gootmu)

ORC: I have dental problems! Grr!
MERRY: Let's run!
PIPPIN: Did we make it?
MERRY: I don't know. We'll have to wait for a flashback.


ELROND: Time to go. 
ARWEN: But I wanna bang Aragorn!
ELROND: Death sucks. Who's your daddy?
ARWEN: Okay, I'll go. Or will I?


ARAGORN: It was...a mighty...duel. It ranged all over. They were both masters...
LEGOLAS: What the hell are you talking about?
ARAGORN: Er, I mean, the hobbits went this way!


GOLLUM/SMEAGOL: Kill! No! Kill! Make nicey! Kill!
AUDIENCE: Lame!
PETER JACKSON: But that's straight from the book!
AUDIENCE: But...book is perfect... (heads explode)


GIMLI: In case you haven't noticed, I'm short.


FARAMIR: The One Ring, eh. 
FRODO: Well, you're a nice guy, so just...
FARAMIR: WRONG! Ship them to Gondor! The Ring is mine!
AUDIENCE: The hell?
PETER JACKSON: Ha! That's what you get for making fun of my Gollum!