The Eve of Midwinter
 by Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey
 
 'Twas the eve of midwinter,
 and all through the coven
 The witches were cookin
 strange things in the oven.
 
 There were mugwort frittitas,
 and dragon's blood stew
 And mescaline eggnog
 and mandrake fondue.
 
 There were hot mountain oysters
 and road-kill pate
 And spotted owl kidneys,
 and wombat flambe.
 
 The circle was cast
 and the herbs had been smoked
 In the hopes that the Goddess
 would soon be invoked.
 
 When out of the hot tub
 arose such a clatter
 I jumped on my broom
 to see what twas the matter.
 
 And what should I see
 in the blackberry thorns
 But a soaking wet Goddess
 and eight unicorns!
 
 "I was sitting down
 with my vibrating phallus
 And a good book,"
 she muttered "You bitches are callous.
 
 I came when you called,
 over all my objections,
 And got lost in the woods-
 you give lousy directions.
 
 You turkeys invoked me,
 now look at my dress
 My period's late
 and I got PMS."
 
 She cursed and she muttered,
 she looked like a wreck
 The unicorns whimpered
 and sat on the deck.
 
 We gave her some weed
 and got her some grub
 We brought her clean towels
 and she soaked in the tub.
 
 Then she rose, hot and dripping,
 and gave us her blessing,
 And jumped in her chariot,
 without even dressing!
 
 "On Isis, on Eris,
 Oya and Astarte!
 On Ishtar, Inanna!
 Kali and Hecate!"
 
 We heard her exclaim
 as she climbed through the air
 "Thank Goddess there's
 only eight sabbats a year!"