Top 12 Things Likely to be Overheard If You Have A Klingon Programmer

12.  "Specifications are for the weak and timid."

11.  "This machine ia a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I
am to do battle with this code."

10.  "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
original Klingon."

9.   "Indentation?... I will show you how to indent when I indent your
skull!"

8.   "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not permit software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and
quality assurance people in its wake."

7.   "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have
'arguments'... and they ALWAYS WIN THEM!"

6.   "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
weak."

5.   "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leh
contest. They will not concern us again."

4.   "A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code."

3.   "By filing this problem report you have maligned the honor of my
entire family. Prepare to die... AAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

2.   "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
stand!"

And the number one thing heard around Klingon programmers is:

1.   "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"