(to the tune of 'Everything You Know is Wrong' by Wierd Al Yankovic)

Everything you code is wrong
Bits are bytes, ints are chars and shorts are long
And everything you thought was just so
executable doesn't compile
Everything you code is wrong
Just forget the deadline and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you code is wrong

I was walkin' to the cluster
for some coding fun
when I accidentally stepped
into an alternate OS
and soon I was abducted by
some AOLers from space
who kinda looked like Steve Case
They sucked out my netiquette
and they took some cookies and said I was
a darn good sport